Sometime last semester, as I was looking for dvd's in the second-hand book store in the UP Shopping Center, my attention was drawn to a book entitled The Path of Prayer by Sophy Burnham. I looked at the back and read the following words:

---
"I wish we had another word for 'prayer,' it sounds so rigid and righteous. In fact it is probably what we are doing most of the time. Walking down the street, we hear our little inner voice calling, 'Help, help, help, help, help.' Or sometimes, 'Rage, rage, rage, rage.' ...

What is prayer? It is quite simply a yearning of the heart. We don't even have to voice it. It arises from the depths of our anguished suffering or from the power of our love. It erupts, flowers, dies down, pours fourth again."
---

Those words got me curious, so I bought the book, thinking it might give me fresh insights about a habit that I've never been able to shake off, no matter how intellectually scientific, politically progressive or religiously agnostic I got. I was first taught to pray when I was four years old by a grand-aunt, Lola Bating, when our house-help ran off and for a period of some months my brother, Patrick, and I were "deposited" with our maternal relatives during the weekdays because our parents both had to work. Perhaps thinking that I would feel less homesick and less restless, Lola Bating taught me several prayers in English and Bisaya. So I guess the habit just stuck with me, and I've been praying everyday since I was four years old up to now.

The book proved to be a very good read. It was well-researched and approached the topic with an acceptance of all religious faiths. It contained Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Jain prayers and reflections as well as scientific and psychological studies on the healing and general effects of prayer. This multi-faith and somewhat academic perspective employed by the author helped a lot since I tend to recoil at reading anything remotely evangelical or fundamentally Christian. The years of secular education has instilled in me the love for science, and perhaps the not-so-accurate belief in the scientific/spiritual dichotomy, even though I live in a very religious country. I believe in both freedom of religion and the separation of church and state, and I don't agree with the Roman Catholic Church in opposing Reproductive Health legislation, among other things. I understand that all of this makes me a collection of contradictions of sorts, but hey so is the world.

One of the interesting parts of the book that I found offered a new perspective on prayer is the translation of The Lord's Prayer. Here is the excerpt:

* * *

"The words of the Lord's Prayer in Western languages may be far removed from those spoken by Jesus in the original Aramaic. Aramaic is a language of subtleties. We don't know what Christ actually said, for the prayer comes down to us in Greek, the language of the early Gospel writers. But not long ago several different scholars translated our version back into Syriac Aramaic and then from the Aramaic into English again in an attempt to maintain some of the Aramaic rhythms and nuances of meaning in a language where "heaven" means the universe, "kingdom" is related to the word Great Mother, and "daily bread" derives from roots for the divine feminine or holy wisdom--Sophia. Here is one transliteration of the prayer that Jesus spoke, as rendered by Neil Douglas-Klotz. Would any of us recognize it?

O Breathing Life, your Name shines everywhere!
Release a space to plant your Presence here.
Envision your "I Can" now.
Embody your desire in every light and form.
Grow through us this moment's bread and wisdom.
Untie the knots of failure binding us, as we release the
strands we hold of others' faults.
Help us not to forget our Source, yet free us from not
being in the Present.
From you arises every vision, power, and song, from
gathering to gathering
Amen: May our future actions grow from here!

And here is another translation, so different you wonder where the words so familiar to us today first came from! Yet each one makes sense. Each one adds layers of meaning to the prayer.

1. O Though, the Breath, the Light of All
2. Focus your light within us.
3. Create your reign of unity now.
4. Your One Desire then acts with ours, as in all light, so in all forms.
5. Grant what we need each day, in bread and insight.
6. Loose the cords of mistakes binding us, as we release the
strands we hold of others' guilt.
7. Don't let surface things delude us.
8. But free us from what holds us back.
9. To you belongs the ruling mind, the power and life to do,
the song that beautifies all, from age to age it renews.
10. In faith I will be true.

1. Our Father who art in Heaven
2. Hallowed be thy name
3. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
4. On earth as it is in heaven
5. Give us this day our daily bread
6. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass
against us
7. Lead us not into temptation
8. But deliver us from evil
9. For thine is the Power and the Kingdom and the Glory, for ever
and ever"

* * *

Having learned and memorized the prayer at such a young age, add to that the ambivalence created by a down-your-throat-you-must-worship culture in contrast with a scientific education, the Lord's Prayer often has lost its meaning to me. Reading these translations got me back to thinking about it and did add a layer of meaning to each line. It gave me a whole new appreciation for the beauty of this prayer, in its simplicity and completeness (Be with me. Guide me. Feed me. Forgive me. Help me to forgive. Protect me. I adore You).

Increasingly I have found praying to be very practical. It does not make one less intellectual or scientific, just more open-minded and optimistic. I have a new found respect for every person I catch in silence, praying to their God. It is in this, the image of a person recognizing their human limitations, recognizing how illogical and inhumane the world can be, yet still keeping faith in what is good and all the good that is yet to come. And having studied psychology in undergrad, as well as being immersed in all the positive-thinking pop psychology inspirational literature, I've realized that prayer is still one of the surest and fastest ways to regain one's peace of mind and composure when in the throes of doubt, fear or too much worrying. So I'm glad I haven't kicked the habit. Thank God! :)

To all my fellow Cebuanos about to celebrate the Sinulog: Pit Senyor!



~not so agnostic, Me

III. Things I won’t say to anyone in person, because it seems creepy.


The truth is… There is only one key to the heart. One key that unlocks all doors, even the coldest and hardest of hearts. That key is Faith.

“Faith in what,” you might ask.

And I’ll say, “Faith in everything good, noble, beautiful, fair and just… in one person, and in all of humanity.”

Then you will say, “How can I get to that place of having faith in humanity, when all I see around me is hatred, ugliness, and cruelty?”

Naturally, I’ll mutter something like, “You must begin with yourself. The hardest part of the work is there. When you have reclaimed faith in yourself, everything else will follow. Nothing and no one can ever take this away from you, if you won’t let them. And neither will you ever want to take it away from someone else. You will bless your enemies and wish them well. You will know when to embrace your friends and when to let them go. And you will know love as simply the feeling of great delight in the other’s presence, while wishing the best of everything for them—without feeling the need to possess, control, or cage them in to keep all to yourself. Your heart will then be free from any kind of greed. Because by then you will know in your heart that you are indeed more than good-enough, and that more than being worthy of all the good things in life, you yourself can be the source of it. This is what I wish for you, and have tried to show you, the best way I could. May you find it in you, and may it spread from you, with your every step and every heartbeat, to everyone you meet, like a brush fire.”***

Then it is time for us to part again. On to the long journey ahead. Do the work. All will be well. In moments of despair, you will know where to find hope. It’s been in you and with you all this time.



-----------------------------------------------


***This is the long route. There are a lot of short-cuts but they will cost you a lot in the long-run. But don’t let this stop you from taking them. You’ll know when it’s time.

(Take with a bag of salt and some balut eggs. Of course at your own risk. :> )


I don't call it playing games when it's real. A lot of women really do value their time, energy and attention--whether they are busy with work, school, leisure, projects, social life or just pampering themselves with their weekly mani-pedi/facial/spa/shopping day. I am fortunate enough to have met many women like these throughout college and law school; they are immensely inspiring and fun to be with. It is very empowering to see one's sisters throw themselves without restraint at their chosen passions--be it their family, art, studies, careers, civic duties, fashion or everything all at once. A lot of women have straightened out and balanced their priorities and know how to bake their own proverbial cake. These women know their weight in gold. And you my dear friend of a guy, who happened to want her time or are lucky enough to earn her affection, must understand a few very simple things about this divine creature--if you want to keep her or win her over that is.


Your Inner Game

-Cocky/Funny can be attractive for small talk, but it takes real confidence to keep her interested. She CAN see right through you. So work at your own confidence to remain attractive.
-There's a fine line between Confident and Arrogant. Don't cross it. There are dire consequences. No you are not God's gift to women. No matter how many women you've been with.
-If you have to put people down in order to feel good about yourself, then your member is the size of a peanut, so don't even bother reproducing.
-Like you, she's human too and yes, you can bore her to tears. Actually be interesting. Have a life of your own and remain exciting.
-Ambition is attractive. Delusions of grandeur can be creepy, unless she is Eva Peron or Imelda, then fine rule the world together.
-If she is principled and your morals are those of parasitic pond-scum, don't ask her out, go straight to hell.
-Cool, yet sweet and thoughtful will be endearing. Controlling, possessive and jealous will make her go blech and run out of the door. You are not her father. Repeat that to yourself until you get it.
-Listening skills + great sense of humor. Magic formula. Go get some if you don't have em.
-Find something you're really good at. A spark of genius or mastery over a difficult skill is very attractive.
-DON'T: feel sorry or apologize for your desire and attraction. BUT don't be sleazy and fresh either. (That winking thing you do. Yeah, keep it at one per 12 months at the maximum.)
-She's not your therapist. YOU are. Get your act together.



THE PICK UP

-It is safe to assume that she's heard it all before, because she HAS.
-It's not what you say, it's how you say it. But nothing canned please.
-Respect her personal space.

*Rule: If you manage to get her REAL contact info, then she finds you attractive and/or interesting. If you haven't, please take a hike. (Contact within a week, any longer than that she may have already forgotten about you.)
Exception: Unless you got her contact info because of a business thing and it was necessary that she gives it to you. OR you got it from a friend of a friend of hers, without her knowledge and permission, then you are a stalker; in that case, please walk off a cliff.


DATING

.:First few dates:.


-Be specific as to the date, time and place when asking her out. Book at least 4 days ahead. Keep it relaxed.
-Take her somewhere wholesome and classy. She's not your beer buddy.*
(*Follow this only if you want her to take you seriously. She may -already- be your beer buddy. Keep that up if you want to stay in the Friend Zone.)
-Take note of her preferences. Well duh, otherwise you're just selfish.
-Just in case she asks: be ready to answer questions about short-term and long-term goals. (We are talking about a worthwhile woman here, remember? So be prepared.)
-NO means NO, #$%$%!


.:After the first 3 or so dates:.

-Keep it fun. (Everything else, diskarte nyo na, it's your hunting game. If you click, then good. If she doesn't think you're a suitable ingredient to her cake, get over it. You may just be someone else's catch.)
-This girl has RULES/Principles/Techniques/Wiles or whatever you call them. Respect them.*

(*If she dates you with wanton disregard of her own rules, which you both know she takes seriously, be careful. There is a grave danger that you may be a: a.) rebound guy, b.) string-along, c.) mistake. Harsh but true. Give it 3 weeks. However there are exceptions to this, but they are rare.)



IN A RELATIONSHIP

-Remember your short-term and long-term plans? Stick to them.
-Dates: It is a sin not to book in advance. However, spontaneous dates every now and then will be welcome if she is free.*
(*She may not know it yet, and you may be utterly oblivious of it: booking at the last minute frequently or every time you go out, even if she accedes to it, is very detrimental to your relationship status. Be forewarned.)
-Hanging out with friends or at home is NOT a date. Repeat that to yourself.
-Review everything from YOUR INNER GAME section above, at least once a month.
-Frequency of actual dates: play it by ear, as it varies on a case to case basis. Assuming you are both productively busy (no pun intended), the minimum is once a month.
-Chemistry + shared values and dreams/goals + deep friendship, spells good foundation.
-FUN + R-E-S-P-E-C-T. An okay formula to keep that spark alive.


HOW TO KILL A RELATIONSHIP

-Be a total jerk. Lie, cheat, steal, hurt, hurt hurt.
-Be very uptight. Criticize everything and everyone. Have no sense of humor at all. Seriously.
-KNOW that you are always RIGHT. Don't even listen to her petty attempts at communication.
-Underestimate her. Especially her capacity to detect your BS.
-Learn the art of being a drama king. Everything IS about YOU. You are the center of the universe.
-Lie and get caught. This my friend is the easiest thing to do.
-Level up to the highest level of arrogance.
-Check your own reflection on every shiny surface, every 30 seconds.
-Assume that she will never walk away. Why would she ever?! You are God's gift to women!




Most important thing to remember:

A worthwhile woman never bluffs, she doesn't have to. So on your toes like a good ballerina and dance well.

Thank you for your support & attendance. :D Love! Love! MWAH!

I'm happy to announce that the international poetry e-zine, The Cartier Street Review, has featured When Hephaestus Fell & other poems, our upcoming art & poetry chapbook in the front page of its March 2009 issue.

I am both proud and humbled to have been invited to be one of its contributors, along with very talented poets and artists from around the world. It is an honor to be featured with celebrated American poet John Yamrus, Poet Laureate of Washington Heights Joy Leftow, Pulitzer and Griffin Prize Nominee Heller Levinson, Demetrius Daniel, Tatjana Debeljacki, Brenda Cook, Kush Arora, Joseph Goosey, Stephanie Edwards, Yahia Labadibi, Don Stabler, David Cheezem, Charles Robert Hice, and its March 2009 featured poet Tiziano Fratus.

Many thanks to The Cartier Street Review's Editor, Canadian Poet Mr. Bernard Alain, for his hospitality and wonderful insights. Thank you for scouting me. :)

I also owe a lot of thanks to my creative partner, Jose Joya Awardee, Mr. Christian Yonson Galinato, a very talented poet and artist. Thank you for challenging me to come up with a folio/chapbook.



About the book:

“When Hephaestus Fell & other poems” is an art & poetry chapbook celebrating the triumph of hope in times of adversity, the strength of the will and the person’s enduring spirit in times of struggle. It contains 50 plus poems and 25 artworks on the pain and pleasures of self-definition, love, memories, societal contradictions, self-expression, spirituality, and the process of forging strong guiding principles to live by. It also contains other poems by featured poets.

Featured Poets:

Atty. Anna Christina "Enuh" Iglesias
Salma Angkaya Kuhutan
Karen Papellero
Terence Krishna V. Lopez
Atty. Paulito Y. Cabrera


Book Launching: March 13, 2009, 7PM, Kukuk's Nest, Lahug, Cebu City.